1
00:00:01,401 --> 00:00:07,007
♪♪

2
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,075
Ew.

3
00:00:08,075 --> 00:00:10,377
It's the Yellow Pages.

4
00:00:10,377 --> 00:00:12,079
I know. That's what
the "ew" was for.

5
00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:13,347
It's stupid
and it's ugly and I hate.

6
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:15,816
I'm in here.
Under "Gilded Lotus."

7
00:00:15,816 --> 00:00:17,818
Ooh, Gilded Lotus.

8
00:00:17,818 --> 00:00:19,052
It's the name
of my business.

9
00:00:19,052 --> 00:00:20,554
It sounds like
a vagina-piercing place.

10
00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:22,089
No, it doesn't.

11
00:00:22,089 --> 00:00:24,024
It's a play
on "gilding the lily."

12
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,826
So why didn't you just call it
"Gilded Lily"?

13
00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:27,828
Because
that name was taken.

14
00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:29,363
By a vagina-piercing
place.

15
00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:31,365
You know, when I'm interested
in hiring someone,

16
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:33,967
the first thing I do
is I get the phonebook... Yeah.

17
00:00:33,967 --> 00:00:35,836
...and if their name
is in here... Right?

18
00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:37,104
...I don't hire them.

19
00:00:37,104 --> 00:00:38,639
It's 2019.

20
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,641
It's all about branding yourself
on social media.

21
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:43,210
It just so happens
I'm in a ton of Facebook groups.

22
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:46,680
And I tweet up a storm.
I am on Instagram.

23
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,715
You have 14 followers.

24
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:51,418
It's not about quantity.
It's about quality.

25
00:00:51,418 --> 00:00:54,221
No, it's about quantity.
You're wrong.

26
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:56,123
Oh, God, e-even Mae
doesn't follow you.

27
00:00:56,123 --> 00:00:57,824
Mae is a tough nut
to crack --

28
00:00:57,824 --> 00:00:59,226
She follows Arthur.

29
00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:03,597
Okay, don't worry.
I'm gonna help you.

30
00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:04,898
If you want your business
to blow up,

31
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:07,234
you have to
project success.

32
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:08,302
Are you suggesting --

33
00:01:08,302 --> 00:01:09,937
I think we should buy you
some followers.

34
00:01:09,937 --> 00:01:11,939
You can Venmo me back.

35
00:01:11,939 --> 00:01:14,675
I don't have that.
I can write you a check.

36
00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:17,144
[ Sighs ] I can't even
look at you right now.

37
00:01:17,144 --> 00:01:18,812
♪♪

38
00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:21,949
♪ Keep giving me hope
for a better day ♪

39
00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:25,552
♪ Keep giving me love
to find a way ♪

40
00:01:25,552 --> 00:01:28,488
♪ Through this heaviness
I feel ♪

41
00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:34,962
♪ I just need someone to say
everything's okay ♪

42
00:01:34,962 --> 00:01:36,563
♪ Everything's okay ♪

43
00:01:36,563 --> 00:01:39,099
Mm-hmm. Your very own bedroom.

44
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,702
Look at this, man.
How cool is this?

45
00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:43,971
Did you say utilities
were included?

46
00:01:43,971 --> 00:01:44,972
[ Beeping ]
Yep.

47
00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:46,974
And the best part is...

48
00:01:46,974 --> 00:01:48,008
[ Click ]

49
00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:50,277
...lint time!

50
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:53,313
You never know what you're gonna
find in the lint filter.

51
00:01:53,313 --> 00:01:54,414
♪♪

52
00:01:54,414 --> 00:01:55,549
Ta-da!

53
00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:57,617
Wow. 25 cents.

54
00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:59,953
You know, just because I live
in the laundry room,

55
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:02,489
don't expect me to fold
everyone else's clothes.

56
00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:05,125
Learning a trade
would be good for you.

57
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,261
Hey, hey!
I-I'll take that.

58
00:02:08,261 --> 00:02:09,496
Easy, buddy.

59
00:02:09,496 --> 00:02:10,897
What's up with you
and the turtle?

60
00:02:10,897 --> 00:02:13,100
Gee, I don't know.
What's up with you and my mom?

61
00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:15,602
Excuse me? What --

62
00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:17,604
Hey, is everything okay?

63
00:02:17,604 --> 00:02:18,939
Hmm? Is this
about the laundry?

64
00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:19,873
Because you don't
have to really do it.

65
00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:21,975
It ain't about the laundry.

66
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,810
It's just I don't like
prying questions.

67
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:26,680
And I can see
that you don't, either.

68
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,482
So let's just remember that.

69
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:31,018
♪♪

70
00:02:31,018 --> 00:02:34,287
Hey, you guys, it's
Tamryn Tomas Vandaloo...TTV.

71
00:02:34,287 --> 00:02:37,491
You guys,
is this mole growing?

72
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:38,759
[ Groans ]

73
00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:40,193
It's like,
"Seriously, mole?

74
00:02:40,193 --> 00:02:42,429
Right now, mole?
You're gonna do this?"

75
00:02:42,429 --> 00:02:45,298
Anyway, I am currently in my
daughter Rabbit's playroom,

76
00:02:45,298 --> 00:02:47,768
and, as you can see,
it's really gross

77
00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:49,169
and she never, ever
wants to be here.

78
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,905
Does anyone have
any pro tips?

79
00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:54,441
[ Clicking ]
"Chair swing.

80
00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:58,645
Massive wall decal
with shelves you can climb.

81
00:02:58,645 --> 00:03:00,981
Bring the outdoors in."

82
00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:03,717
Hey. You guys grammin'?

83
00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:04,985
Or you just lurkin'?

84
00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:06,853
I used to be a lurker m'self.

85
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:08,321
Hey, there's a lot
of new content

86
00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:09,689
on my page these days.

87
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,425
Unsubscribe.

88
00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:13,126
[ Cellphone chimes ]
[ Sighs ]

89
00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:14,127
Oh, schnapp!

90
00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:14,928
Mom's blowin' up!

91
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:17,197
I just got a reply from TTV.

92
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,800
Stop it.
Mason, she loves my ideas.

93
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,668
She wants to discuss.

94
00:03:21,668 --> 00:03:23,270
TTV! So cool.

95
00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:25,472
Sounds like a bot.
You're a bot.

96
00:03:25,472 --> 00:03:26,606
[ Clicking ]

97
00:03:26,606 --> 00:03:28,475
[ Knock on door ]
[ Sighs ]

98
00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:29,576
Lena.

99
00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:30,944
-Hey.
-We have a problem.

100
00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:32,679
I found this
in Milo's book bag.

101
00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:35,215
It's the Room Mom
sign-up sheet.

102
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,484
Oh, I-I don't think
I can do that this year.

103
00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:39,853
I'm trying to get my business
off the ground. [ Sighs ] Oh, yeah.

104
00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:41,988
Pink Lotus.
-Gilded Lotus.

105
00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:43,390
-Oh.
-I'm changing it.

106
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,592
What, are you gonna hang up
your Room Mom Keds?

107
00:03:45,592 --> 00:03:47,094
Turning in your glue gun?

108
00:03:47,094 --> 00:03:50,030
Between Mae, Mason, and the last
four years with Milo,

109
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:52,199
I've been Room Mom
for over a decade.

110
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,001
Come on.
You're not seriously

111
00:03:55,001 --> 00:03:56,403
gonna make me
feel bad about this.

112
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:58,371
No, no, no, I'm not trying to
make you feel guilty.

113
00:03:58,371 --> 00:04:00,173
I swear. I-I just --

114
00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:02,042
I'm worried about Milo,
you know?

115
00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:04,010
I don't know if it's a delayed
reaction to the divorce

116
00:04:04,010 --> 00:04:07,280
or it's because we've moved him
into the laundry room,

117
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:10,050
but the kid
is just not himself.

118
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:12,452
[ Washing machine whirring ]
Hey! It looks great in here.

119
00:04:12,452 --> 00:04:14,588
Yeah, I love what you've done
with the place, bud.

120
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:17,057
[ Washing machine chimes ]
Oh!

121
00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:19,659
Oh, thank you for that.
No problem.

122
00:04:19,659 --> 00:04:22,596
So, um, it looks like

123
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:25,332
I'm not gonna be able to
be Room Mom this year. [ Door closes ]

124
00:04:25,332 --> 00:04:27,334
That's fine.
I know women everywhere

125
00:04:27,334 --> 00:04:29,770
are counting on you
for their hysterectomies.

126
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,805
Okay,
that's not what I do.

127
00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:33,173
Oh, no?
No.

128
00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:36,943
I want to help people
by decorating their houses.

129
00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:39,079
Oh, well, that's also
important work.

130
00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:41,615
But I want to make sure
you don't feel neglected.

131
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:44,885
On the contrary. Don't worry
about me. Please. Carry on.

132
00:04:47,254 --> 00:04:48,421
Ah.

133
00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:49,790
Oh, okay.

134
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,958
Maybe there's a way
I can figure out how to --

135
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,693
Ask me to be Room Mom?

136
00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:56,163
No need. I am on it!
I'm in!

137
00:04:56,163 --> 00:04:58,498
You're not exactly
Room Mom material...

138
00:04:58,498 --> 00:05:01,234
No, I am not, son.
I am Room Dad material.

139
00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:04,538
I'm gonna dad that room until
it forgets it even had a mom.

140
00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:07,140
Really, Martin?
Are you sure?

141
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,208
Yes.

142
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:10,377
Yeah, you know what?
It's my turn, okay?

143
00:05:10,377 --> 00:05:14,080
I-I-It was probably my turn
a lot of turns ago, so...

144
00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:17,651
I feel like I want to hug you.
Can I hug you?

145
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:20,587
I'm not in the business
of turning down hugs.

146
00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:24,157
♪♪

147
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,094
♪ What we gonna do
when the vibe roll through? ♪ [ Knock on door ]

148
00:05:28,094 --> 00:05:30,330
♪ When it's feeling so good
and it's feeling so new ♪

149
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,566
♪ It's lit ♪
Oh, hi!

150
00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:34,034
Tamryn: Oh, my God, you guys.
Look at her.

151
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:37,237
She's so confused.
I'm Instastorying our meet-cute.

152
00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:39,139
Oh!

153
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:43,009
♪ It's lit ♪
I didn't realize our meet was gonna be so cute.

154
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:45,278
Um...I'm Lena.

155
00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:47,013
Hashtag hope
there's a filter.

156
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,815
That really sucked.

157
00:05:48,815 --> 00:05:50,717
Yeah, I'm not gonna post that.
[ Beep ]

158
00:05:50,717 --> 00:05:53,086
Hi!

159
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:54,321
[ Phone thuds ]
Ow! Ohh!

160
00:05:54,321 --> 00:05:57,190
Oh, I want you to meet
my daughter, Rabbit,

161
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,593
and her rabbit,
Pamela Catherine.

162
00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:01,761
Hi!

163
00:06:01,761 --> 00:06:03,430
Rabbit always
wanted a rabbit,

164
00:06:03,430 --> 00:06:06,399
but we were worried it was gonna
be just super confusing,

165
00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:07,934
so we named her
Pamela Catherine.

166
00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:10,070
That makes sense.
♪ Run that beat back ♪

167
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:12,272
Tamryn: Quick poll, you guys --
hire or fire?

168
00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:13,807
Gainfully employed?

169
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,809
Or living on the streets
like a hobo

170
00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:17,544
with a long stick
and a bandana?

171
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,679
Okay, just to clarify,
if this doesn't work out,

172
00:06:19,679 --> 00:06:21,047
I won't be living
on the street!

173
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:22,716
I was talking
to my followers.

174
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:23,817
Gotcha. Gotcha.

175
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:25,051
I just didn't want them
to worry about me.

176
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,920
They won't.

177
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,189
Okay.

178
00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:31,825
So tell us your ideas.

179
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,562
Oh, what?
Oh, now you're talking to me.

180
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:40,433
Okay. So, Tamryn,
I die for your modern aesthetic,

181
00:06:40,433 --> 00:06:41,835
but this playroom

182
00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:47,574
needs a serious dose
of warmth and playfulness.

183
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:50,577
I'm picturing
a woodland wonderland,

184
00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:52,946
where the centerpiece
is a giant tree

185
00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:55,348
with a hollow center
that doubles as a reading nook,

186
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:57,884
and this floor-to-ceiling
moss wall

187
00:06:57,884 --> 00:07:00,220
that has just little,
fake flowers... ♪ It's lit ♪

188
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:02,222
...that can be picked
and replanted.

189
00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:04,357
Okay, little mama.

190
00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:06,559
You just earned yourself
a job.

191
00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:09,496
Aah! [ Laughs ]
♪ Run that beat back, let me show 'em what's up ♪

192
00:07:09,496 --> 00:07:11,898
♪ Hey, hey,
it's a party over here ♪

193
00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:13,700
♪ Hey, hey,
it's a party over here ♪

194
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:15,268
All: Milo!
♪ Hey, hey, it's a party over here ♪

195
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,270
-Hey, guys.
-Rules the school...

196
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,538
just like his old man.

197
00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:19,839
Hey, welcome aboard.

198
00:07:19,839 --> 00:07:22,842
Hello. Milo's dad,
reporting for duty.

199
00:07:22,842 --> 00:07:23,910
[ Both laugh ]

200
00:07:23,910 --> 00:07:25,912
Uh, what exactly
are my duties?

201
00:07:25,912 --> 00:07:29,849
Oh, helping out with special
projects, overseeing hot lunch.

202
00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:31,518
Oh, and putting together

203
00:07:31,518 --> 00:07:34,321
our upcoming
100 Days of School party. Ooh!

204
00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:37,857
You actually get to help
choose the theme. Hmm. Oh, okay.

205
00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:38,992
Let's see.

206
00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:40,360
Hollywood Nights!

207
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:43,463
Ooh.
How about "Black Panther"?

208
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:44,597
Neon Carnival?

209
00:07:44,597 --> 00:07:46,533
"Black Panther."
"Great Gatsby."

210
00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:49,869
Listen, Milo's dad,
it's gonna be "Black Panther."

211
00:07:49,869 --> 00:07:51,271
Wakanda forever, okay?

212
00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:52,972
Uh-huh.
Yeah? Okay.

213
00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:54,941
♪♪

214
00:07:54,941 --> 00:07:56,343
Milo: Give it to me.

215
00:07:56,343 --> 00:08:00,547
♪♪

216
00:08:00,547 --> 00:08:02,148
What the hell?

217
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:03,683
♪♪

218
00:08:03,683 --> 00:08:06,686
[ Whispering ] Hey, hey.
Buddy, what, uh --

219
00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:08,588
what's going on over there
with the money

220
00:08:08,588 --> 00:08:10,156
and the -- and the bow?

221
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:12,325
I-I don't know anything.

222
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:13,560
[ Normal voice ]
I'm the Room Dad.

223
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:14,661
You can talk to me.

224
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:15,929
I'm too scared.

225
00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:17,030
Scared of what?

226
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:20,400
[ Whispering ] Milo.

227
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:26,039
♪♪

228
00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:27,841
It's crazy!

229
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:30,710
Did you hear the rumor that she
dated both Property Brothers?

230
00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:34,114
Everybody heard.
She made sure of that.

231
00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:37,450
I don't think I've ever seen
this side before.

232
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:38,718
What side?

233
00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:39,953
You're jealous.

234
00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:41,554
Jealous?

235
00:08:41,554 --> 00:08:44,224
[ Laughs loudly ]

236
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:47,327
Ooh, you even have
a weird jealous laugh.

237
00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:49,329
I thought you'd be
happy for me.

238
00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:52,198
I am happy for you.
I'm practically elated.

239
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:55,135
Ha!
[ Laughs mockingly ]

240
00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:56,569
Okay, look,

241
00:08:56,569 --> 00:08:59,305
it's just that I've seen
the way that she operates.

242
00:08:59,305 --> 00:09:01,708
She'll chew you up, she'll
suck out all your content,

243
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:05,612
and she'll leave you on the side
of the road, gasping for air.

244
00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:07,547
TTV is supportive.

245
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,816
Whereas you made fun
of my Yellow Pages.

246
00:09:09,816 --> 00:09:14,687
I bought you followers, okay?
I accepted a check.

247
00:09:14,687 --> 00:09:16,356
I didn't even know
I could do that.

248
00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:19,526
TTV accepts me for who I am.
No.

249
00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:22,796
She exploits you
for who you are.

250
00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:25,865
For Tamryn, this is
just about her increasing

251
00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:27,801
her female followers,
okay?

252
00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:29,903
This is not about
your design skills.

253
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:33,773
You're wrong. She hired me
to design her playroom.

254
00:09:33,773 --> 00:09:37,243
Our relationship
is based on mutual respect

255
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:40,113
and is strictly
100% professional.

256
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:41,448
♪ Whoo ♪

257
00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:43,516
You guys, these paper straws
make us want to vom.

258
00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:45,084
Vom!
Ugh!

259
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:46,886
♪ Okay, step back,
here comes the queen ♪ I can't even.

260
00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:48,555
Oh, Lena. So pliable.

261
00:09:48,555 --> 00:09:50,156
Do they care about
the environment?

262
00:09:50,156 --> 00:09:53,893
[ Exhales sharply ] Well,
looks like you're my new BFF.

263
00:09:53,893 --> 00:09:56,663
I knew you'd get there.

264
00:09:56,663 --> 00:09:58,531
[ Birds chirping ]

265
00:09:58,531 --> 00:10:01,935
♪♪

266
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,336
[ Sighs ]

267
00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:04,737
What kind of racket
you running here?

268
00:10:04,737 --> 00:10:08,942
Look who's back.
"Mr. Questions."

269
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:11,411
[ Huffs ]
Are you a bully?

270
00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:13,680
A bully?
Quite the opposite.

271
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:16,282
Roger was just repaying
a few bucks I loaned him

272
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:17,750
on the bake sale day.

273
00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:18,785
He's a good kid.

274
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:21,187
Hey, boss.
This guy bothering you?

275
00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:24,190
Whoa. Didn't know the school
was K through...

276
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:26,326
30.
I'm a sixth grader.

277
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:28,328
It's cool, Owen.
This is my dad.

278
00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:31,197
Copy that, boss.

279
00:10:31,197 --> 00:10:35,235
♪♪

280
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:36,769
[ Dog barking in distance ]

281
00:10:36,769 --> 00:10:40,773
Ah, can I just have
all the wine?

282
00:10:40,773 --> 00:10:43,510
[ As Tamryn ] Can I have
all the wine, please?

283
00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:46,379
[ Gags ]
You even sound like her.

284
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:48,381
Well, maybe that's why
I had a follow spike.

285
00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:50,083
Baby's first follow spike.

286
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:52,752
16,000! Did you see?

287
00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:55,255
I think it's 'cause
she tags me in everything.

288
00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:58,591
Actually, 5,000 of those
followers are from me.

289
00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:00,059
Thank you.

290
00:11:00,059 --> 00:11:04,130
But actually, I don't think
we even needed to buy them.

291
00:11:04,130 --> 00:11:06,199
I'm just --
I feel so blessed

292
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:10,503
to be working with an influencer
who is so influential.

293
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,238
Hmm.
[ Cellphone chimes ]

294
00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:14,507
So how's that
playroom coming along?

295
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:15,708
Hmm?
[ Cellphone chimes ]

296
00:11:15,708 --> 00:11:18,845
The job she actually
hired you to do?

297
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,013
Designing the playroom?

298
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,014
[ Cellphone chimes ]
Totally.

299
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,515
[ Gasps ] So crazy!

300
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,984
She boomeranged our Vom Straws,
and it went viral.

301
00:11:24,984 --> 00:11:26,886
Look at how many views!

302
00:11:26,886 --> 00:11:28,955
Mm. No, thanks.

303
00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:30,623
Where are you going?

304
00:11:30,623 --> 00:11:34,360
Well, you said
you wanted all the wine.

305
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:35,428
It's all yours!

306
00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:37,030
I should story this.

307
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:39,899
♪♪

308
00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:43,336
Wait.

309
00:11:47,006 --> 00:11:48,908
[ School bell rings ]
Good morning, Ms. David.

310
00:11:48,908 --> 00:11:50,843
Uh, I just wanted to grab
a quick word before class. There he is!

311
00:11:50,843 --> 00:11:54,047
Hi.
Our Room Baba.

312
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:57,650
"Baba" means "father"
in Wakandan.

313
00:11:57,650 --> 00:11:59,219
Cool.
[ Chuckles ] Yeah.

314
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:03,056
Um, so, I'm just a little bit
concerned about Milo. Okay.

315
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,458
Okay, it's starting
to look like he, um --

316
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:07,860
I'm j-- I'm just getting this
feeling that he might be...

317
00:12:07,860 --> 00:12:10,663
[ Sighs ]
...I don't know, a bully.

318
00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:12,332
[ Laughing ]

319
00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:15,001
What? What?
That's absurd.

320
00:12:15,001 --> 00:12:19,539
Milo is a gorgeous and wildly
popular golden-haired child

321
00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:22,008
who's probably gonna out-earn
us all. [ Chuckles ] Okay, okay, stop.

322
00:12:22,008 --> 00:12:24,277
He's got some goon
working for him.

323
00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:25,678
Goon?
Yeah, Owen.

324
00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:27,413
He's like a --
He's a sixth grader.

325
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:30,750
Have you been interacting
with sixth graders? No.

326
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:33,219
Because as
a third-grade Room Parent,

327
00:12:33,219 --> 00:12:35,822
that's strictly
against school rules.

328
00:12:35,822 --> 00:12:37,290
There. Did you see that?
What? What?

329
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:39,158
Look, look, look, look!

330
00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:40,293
Hello, Ms. David.

331
00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:41,928
Hey, superstar.

332
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:43,062
[ Chuckles ]
You missed it.

333
00:12:43,062 --> 00:12:44,330
He -- He just did
the thing.

334
00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:47,367
I think I know
what's going on here.

335
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:51,838
Your ex-wife, Lena,
she was Room Parent royalty.

336
00:12:51,838 --> 00:12:54,073
The stuff
legends are made of.

337
00:12:54,073 --> 00:12:55,341
Here comes Baba,

338
00:12:55,341 --> 00:12:57,010
feeling all threatened.
No.

339
00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:59,345
He starts
swinging his hose around,

340
00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:00,847
looking for a fire
to put out...

341
00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:06,319
Mnh-mnh.
...but there is...no..fire.

342
00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:08,221
Do I make myself clear?

343
00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:10,323
Yeah.

344
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:13,726
Ooh!
Really good news!

345
00:13:13,726 --> 00:13:15,461
We did it.
What did we do?!

346
00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:16,629
We broke through.

347
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:17,997
Our hashtag
"mommyfriendship"

348
00:13:17,997 --> 00:13:21,200
delivered thousands
of unique impressions

349
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,002
in the coveted
47-55 demo

350
00:13:23,002 --> 00:13:25,872
that I was
so sorely lacking in.

351
00:13:25,872 --> 00:13:27,473
My sponsors
are so stoked.

352
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:28,741
That's amazing!
I know.

353
00:13:28,741 --> 00:13:30,877
And they are going to love

354
00:13:30,877 --> 00:13:32,445
that playroom centerpiece
I told you about.

355
00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:34,747
I found someone
who can fabricate -- Cool, cool, cool.

356
00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:36,749
So, can we put a pin
in this for one second

357
00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:39,018
because I actually need
your design expertise

358
00:13:39,018 --> 00:13:41,888
on a much more
pressing project.

359
00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:44,857
Rabbit's
seven-month birthday.

360
00:13:44,857 --> 00:13:48,895
You want me to plan
your pet's birthday party?

361
00:13:48,895 --> 00:13:51,164
Oh, you're thinking of Pamela.
Rabbit's my daughter.

362
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,666
I don't know why
you get confused by that.

363
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:56,402
Yeah. I j--
But, you know,

364
00:13:56,402 --> 00:13:57,804
I'm not really
a party planner.

365
00:13:57,804 --> 00:14:00,273
Supes interesante.

366
00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:01,541
I love that backstory.

367
00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:03,276
So, uh, this, I promise,

368
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:07,080
will be the only non-playroom
favor that I ask of you.

369
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,148
I swear.
Okay.

370
00:14:09,148 --> 00:14:12,418
Well, if I do it, will you
at least mention my company?

371
00:14:12,418 --> 00:14:13,820
No can do, baby.

372
00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:15,555
Technically, I can only mention
two companies

373
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:18,291
and those are MeUndies
and Westside Rentals.

374
00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:21,360
So, I have purchased...

375
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:24,363
♪♪

376
00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:26,032
...900 balloons.

377
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:29,969
And I need every last breath
in that adorable little body

378
00:14:29,969 --> 00:14:32,105
to inflate them.

379
00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:34,974
You're a legend.

380
00:14:34,974 --> 00:14:37,443
Martin: I'm telling you, man,
the teacher is in on it!

381
00:14:37,443 --> 00:14:38,711
The kids,
they're too scared

382
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,213
to even make eye contact
with Milo.

383
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,849
I've heard that's what it's like
working for Dr. Phil.

384
00:14:42,849 --> 00:14:45,451
I take the reins for one minute
and this is what happens?

385
00:14:45,451 --> 00:14:47,854
My 8-year-old
is shaking kids down?

386
00:14:47,854 --> 00:14:50,590
You know what you have to do,
bro. Toss his room, man.

387
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,125
Full-blown
search and seizure.

388
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:54,594
[ Exhales deeply ]
No. No, no, no, no, no, no.

389
00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:55,995
Going through his stuff,
that's a violation.

390
00:14:55,995 --> 00:14:58,131
It just means you
want to keep him safe.

391
00:14:58,131 --> 00:15:00,133
Same reason why I go through
Camille's purse at night

392
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:01,934
while she's sleeping.
You do?

393
00:15:01,934 --> 00:15:05,004
Yeah, I look at her receipts,
I pay her parking tickets.

394
00:15:05,004 --> 00:15:06,606
I learned all kinds
of things about her,

395
00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:09,609
things I would never know
otherwise.

396
00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:10,977
She's a bad tipper, bro.

397
00:15:10,977 --> 00:15:12,111
Dude, okay, okay.
No, he's -- he's --

398
00:15:12,111 --> 00:15:13,813
he is on
a field trip right now,

399
00:15:13,813 --> 00:15:16,149
so if we go in there,
no one's gonna even know that --

400
00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:19,619
Going in.

401
00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:25,625
♪♪

402
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:27,059
Aha!
What are you thinking?

403
00:15:27,059 --> 00:15:30,496
Static Touch Plasma Sphere
with Mini Tesla Energy Coil.

404
00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:33,332
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Let me try.

405
00:15:33,332 --> 00:15:37,370
"To William,
love Gramma Bea."

406
00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:39,005
♪♪

407
00:15:39,005 --> 00:15:42,575
Josh Jr., you sneaky bastard,
you know something.

408
00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:45,044
♪♪

409
00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:47,313
You want me to slice
that turtle?

410
00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:49,715
What the hell, dude?
Where did you get that?

411
00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:52,451
Camille's purse.
I told you. It's treasure trove.

412
00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:53,586
Cut him.

413
00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:55,488
♪♪

414
00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:57,256
[ Exhales sharply ]

415
00:15:57,256 --> 00:15:58,858
[ Laughs ]

416
00:15:58,858 --> 00:16:00,026
Oh!

417
00:16:00,026 --> 00:16:03,362
What is this golden-haired
Svengali up to?

418
00:16:03,362 --> 00:16:05,531
I don't know,
but I want in.

419
00:16:05,531 --> 00:16:08,100
♪♪

420
00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:14,073
[ Breathing heavily ]

421
00:16:14,073 --> 00:16:17,410
[ Annie Lennox's
"I Put A Spell On You" plays ]

422
00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:21,280
♪ I put a spell on you ♪

423
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:25,418
♪♪

424
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:28,287
♪ Because you're mine ♪

425
00:16:28,287 --> 00:16:31,157
[ Breathing heavily ]

426
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:32,625
[ Ringing ]

427
00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:34,827
Camille: Hey, it's Camille.
You should know I'm text-only.

428
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,128
Never do this again.

429
00:16:36,128 --> 00:16:41,534
♪ You better stop
the things you do ♪

430
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:44,670
♪ Because ♪

431
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:49,542
♪ You're mine ♪

432
00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:52,245
♪ Oh, yeah ♪

433
00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:54,647
Uh, does your character
have blond hair?

434
00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:56,048
No. No, he does not.

435
00:16:56,048 --> 00:16:58,117
Milo. We need to talk.
Now.

436
00:16:58,117 --> 00:16:59,585
We don't talk
during "Guess Who?"

437
00:16:59,585 --> 00:17:01,454
unless we're guessing who.

438
00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:02,455
Up.

439
00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:04,457
[ Sighs ] Fine.

440
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:06,225
Okay, the jig is up.

441
00:17:06,225 --> 00:17:08,094
I found your stash
and your cash.

442
00:17:08,094 --> 00:17:10,830
I cut William a deal,
and he's gonna sing like a bird.

443
00:17:10,830 --> 00:17:13,432
This is your last chance
to come clean with me.

444
00:17:13,432 --> 00:17:14,901
Oh, fine.

445
00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:18,671
I run a very profitable
organization called "Club Milo."

446
00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:20,606
I charge monthly dues,
but in exchange,

447
00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:24,010
you get a place at my
lunch table and in my heart. [ Washing machine chimes ]

448
00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:26,546
People want that?
What, they pay for your company?

449
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:30,149
Premium members get a T-shirt
with my face on it,

450
00:17:30,149 --> 00:17:31,484
and I'll call you
on your birthday --

451
00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:32,985
Milo.
[ Sighs ]

452
00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:36,255
Friendship isn't commerce, pal.
You can't sell it.

453
00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:38,858
You should try following the
example of your older siblings

454
00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:40,993
who show you kindness
because they love you

455
00:17:40,993 --> 00:17:42,728
and you're their brother.
You kidding?

456
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,730
That's why I came up
with Club Milo.

457
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:47,333
I pay them
to spend time with me.

458
00:17:47,333 --> 00:17:48,601
What?

459
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:49,936
Mae! Mason!

460
00:17:49,936 --> 00:17:53,239
I want you in Milo's
fluff and fold now!

461
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:54,607
-You shrieked?
-What's up?

462
00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:56,742
Are you two selling yourselves
to your brother?

463
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:58,210
-Pretty much.
-Yeah, kinda.

464
00:17:58,210 --> 00:17:59,312
What -- What is wrong
with you?

465
00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:00,646
Have you no decency?

466
00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:02,448
He pays,
and he pays well.

467
00:18:02,448 --> 00:18:05,484
I-I don't know whether
to be proud or horrified.

468
00:18:05,484 --> 00:18:07,753
[ Sighs ]

469
00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:09,722
Okay. Okay. You two.

470
00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:13,359
You guys, return all that money
you accepted from Milo.

471
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:14,327
And you.

472
00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:16,062
You are gonna shut down
your club

473
00:18:16,062 --> 00:18:18,664
and refund
all of the membership fees.

474
00:18:18,664 --> 00:18:20,466
And furthermore,
the three of you

475
00:18:20,466 --> 00:18:22,668
are gonna be punished
if you do not continue to have

476
00:18:22,668 --> 00:18:24,403
a loving relationship
with each other.

477
00:18:24,403 --> 00:18:26,205
For free.

478
00:18:26,205 --> 00:18:28,474
♪♪

479
00:18:28,474 --> 00:18:29,608
[ Indistinct conversations ]

480
00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:32,611
♪♪

481
00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:34,347
Oh, my God.
You're finally here.

482
00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:38,351
So, I need a favor, baby.
The clown I hired canceled.

483
00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:41,954
So you need me to find
someone else last minute?

484
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:44,090
No, I already found
someone last minute.

485
00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:45,524
♪♪

486
00:18:45,524 --> 00:18:48,461
Oh, and I will remember
to shout-out your business.

487
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:51,230
What is the name of it again?
Golden Cervix?

488
00:18:51,230 --> 00:18:55,234
Here's the thing, Tamryn,
and, um,

489
00:18:55,234 --> 00:18:56,969
I've really thought
a lot about this,

490
00:18:56,969 --> 00:19:00,840
and even with the shout-out,
I only want to be your designer.

491
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,342
I don't want to do
any of this other stuff.

492
00:19:03,342 --> 00:19:05,478
I feel like you're really
selling yourself short.

493
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:08,080
You're so much more
than a designer.

494
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:09,782
What does that word
even mean?

495
00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:12,184
You're like
a mother figure to Rabbit

496
00:19:12,184 --> 00:19:14,820
and totally
on-brand friend.

497
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:17,957
I have my own friends,
and I have my own kids.

498
00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:19,592
I just need a job.

499
00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:20,793
This is the job.

500
00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:23,262
Then I'm not interested.

501
00:19:23,262 --> 00:19:25,197
Well, then,
I'm not interested.

502
00:19:26,232 --> 00:19:29,201
You see that, though?
How much we have in common?

503
00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:34,206
♪♪

504
00:19:34,206 --> 00:19:35,875
Room Baba?

505
00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:38,010
-Mm-hmm.
-This place looks great.

506
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,979
And you cooked dinner?

507
00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:43,115
It's not even your week.
Stop it.

508
00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:44,984
I told you it's my turn
to pick up the slack.

509
00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:47,853
Well, speaking of slack,

510
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:50,456
I missed
the 100 Days of School party.

511
00:19:50,456 --> 00:19:51,824
Oh, God. Who cares?

512
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:53,325
How many times
have I missed that thing?

513
00:19:53,325 --> 00:19:54,427
79.

514
00:19:54,427 --> 00:19:56,495
Oh, good.
So you were counting.

515
00:19:56,495 --> 00:19:58,297
Mmm!

516
00:19:58,297 --> 00:20:00,166
This is really good.
Yeah?

517
00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:02,435
Here, here, here.
Try it with some bread.

518
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:03,836
Oh.

519
00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:05,771
So I have a little update
on the Milo front. Mm.

520
00:20:05,771 --> 00:20:07,440
His odd behavior
wasn't about the divorce

521
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,176
or the downsizing of his room,
so we're not bad parents.

522
00:20:10,176 --> 00:20:11,911
No, he was just
acting weird

523
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:14,146
because he's running
an extortion scheme!

524
00:20:15,347 --> 00:20:17,016
Oh.

525
00:20:17,016 --> 00:20:19,151
Mm. Well,
we are bad parents,

526
00:20:19,151 --> 00:20:20,886
just not the way
that we thought.

527
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:22,054
You know what?
Hmm?

528
00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:24,757
I'll take it.
Oh, and I seized

529
00:20:24,757 --> 00:20:26,158
hundreds of dollars

530
00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:29,128
that's he's been laundering
inside Josh Jr.

531
00:20:29,128 --> 00:20:31,330
Wait.

532
00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:33,933
Did Milo make more money
than me this week? Mm-hmm.

533
00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:36,802
But I thought we could
put it towards college. Hmm.

534
00:20:36,802 --> 00:20:38,204
Or bail.
Mm.

535
00:20:38,204 --> 00:20:39,772
Mm?
[ Tapping ]

536
00:20:39,772 --> 00:20:41,807
Probably.
Bail. [ Chuckles ]

537
00:20:41,807 --> 00:20:43,409
[ Insects chirping ]

538
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:44,477
[ Doorbell rings ]

539
00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:46,579
♪♪

540
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:49,014
You wanna make skinny margs
and drinkstagram?

541
00:20:49,014 --> 00:20:51,016
Not for a million
[bleep] dollars.

542
00:20:51,016 --> 00:20:54,553
Well, what if I just said...
sorry?

543
00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:58,224
I'm sorry, too.

544
00:20:58,224 --> 00:21:01,360
I should have been more
supportive and less threatened.

545
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:04,096
No, Camille, you were right.
She was using me.

546
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,297
And after we parted ways,

547
00:21:05,297 --> 00:21:08,434
all of her followers
unfollowed me.

548
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:11,203
Now I'm back down
to the 5,000 you bought me.

549
00:21:12,404 --> 00:21:14,373
BFFs again?

550
00:21:14,373 --> 00:21:16,575
I mean,

551
00:21:16,575 --> 00:21:18,644
I've never banged
a Property Brother,

552
00:21:18,644 --> 00:21:20,546
but...sure.

553
00:21:20,546 --> 00:21:23,782
♪♪

554
00:21:23,782 --> 00:21:27,052
-- Captions by VITAC --

555
00:21:27,102 --> 00:21:31,652
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